The first is that we've come to the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I had been thinking for a while that it was going to be time soon to taper off. We were already down to only 1-2 feedings a day, usually in the middle of the night and possibly right before bed. But that last few times, I found myself getting annoyed with it, and her, during the nursing, and basically not being into it any more. It had started to feel weird. And yet, it wasn't a conscious decision to stop nursing her; it occurred to me one day last week that I had not breastfed her for almost three days. And that was it. I was sad about it, for a while. I had a moment when I really wanted to nurse her one last time, to relieve the milk that had built up over the last few days. But then I realized that there was 3 days worth of coffee, a beer or two, and some wine, all mixed up in there, and I'd have to pump it out. So that idea was out. So even though I was ready to be done, and she seems to have been as well, I was still sort of sad about it for a while, more sad than I really wanted to talk about at the time. I've been denying the fact that she's not a "baby" any more, so phasing out this aspect of babyhood so suddenly and irreversibly was kind of a shock.
Secondly, last night, Little Miss went to bed at about 8:30pm, as usual, and slept without a single peep and narry a rustle until 6:45am. That, in case you were not aware, is in fact from bedtime to morning-time. The whole way. In fact, mommy's alarm woke her up before the baby did. That hasn't happened since March 2011 (yes, that would be before going on maternity leave). Of course, we'll see if she can manage a repeat performance tonight. But the fact is, she's been consistently giving me almost a full night for 2-3 weeks now, with just one wake up around 4am for a bottle and then immediately back to sleep again. And she no longer needs me to rock her until she's almost asleep, or stand there rubbing her back until she passes out. Now she has her bottle and can pretty much be laid down with her blankie to settle herself in and go to sleep. Of course, I still do rock her and rub her back and stuff, because it's our routine and I like doing it. But now it's more for the routine and less because it's the only way she will go to sleep.
Now, if I could just take my butt to bed at a decent hour, I might be able to take advantage of this sleep.
And you know what's funny? As happy as I am that she's reached these milestones, and as glad as I am to have my bed back, I just want her to stay a little baby forever. And if that meant being woken up every night for nursing I would totally take it.
Speaking of sleep, please enjoy some photos in my ongoing "Sleeping Baby" series.
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| Superhero baby |
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| with blankie |
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| Now, if you followed me on Instagram, you'd have seen pics like this already. |
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| I mean, seriously. Right? |
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