Learning from Newborns

My nephew Ian was born this morning. He's a doll. It's only been 9.5 months, but I'd already forgotten just what it was like to hold a newborn. *love*

His mom is doing great, exhausted of course. They seem to be doing well with breastfeeding so far, which makes me happy. It makes me reflect on how hard it seemed for me to start breastfeeding in the beginning, and I realized that the difference between myself and my friend is that she was remarkably calm. I was not. For some reason, I felt this crazy pressure to breastfeed right from the beginning, compounded by the lactation ladies being bewildered by the difficulties I was having, and the delivery room nurse giving me a nipple shield right off the bat because "my nipples were too flat." On top of my usual need to be perfect and thus be really hard on myself, the nurses didn't really set me up for success.

And tonight, going into the recovery room and holding that little boy, swaying with him and patting his back and soothing him when he started to cry, I realized how much I've grown since that first day. I have confidence now. I may not always know what I'm doing when it comes to getting her to sleep through the night or eat green vegetables, but being back with a newborn again reminded me just how much more I do know now, and it gave me hope. If I can just maintain that confidence, and steal some of my friend's calm, there's not much I won't be able to do.

Snot Rocket Weekend

Mr. Shawn is away this weekend at NAMM, so little Miss Violet and I have had 3 solid days of quality mommy-baby time. It's been fun. We've been all over the place. Friday I took the day off work because she was sick, and Shawn had already left. On a whim, we drove out to San Francisco to check out a potential wedding venue (I think it's the one!). Then stopped over at Grandpa's house to roll around on the floor there (her) and enjoy some homemade beef stew (me). 

Yesterday, Saturday, we helped Shawn's parents move into their new condo, and got to see lots of cousins and aunties and uncles who were there helping as well. It was pretty funny to see all the big ol' man-cousins playing with the baby and being silly. I like to think she earned her keep that way, even if she couldn't lift any boxes. 

So far today, we slept in, then tidied up the house a bit, and now she's napping and I'm watching some football and hoping to write a bit before my writers' meeting in an hour or two. 

Through all of this, Violet has been working on Tooth #5, (bottom left) which no doubt has something to do with the massive faucet of snot that she's been running all weekend. It's actually pretty comical to see her sneeze out these giant rockets, but then she wipes it all over her face before I can swoop in with a tissue. Gross. Someone's getting a bath tonight. I've also been running the shower and the humidifier a lot, to help clear her up while she sleeps, poor thing. She sounds like an asthmatic old man. Poor baby.

Hope everyone's enjoying the rainy weather. Go Niners!

New Year, New Hot

Ah, weekends.

I spent this morning having coffee with a dear friend whom I haven't seen in a while, she's been busy planning her wedding (ee!), and so time has gotten away from us. It was nice to sit outside Starbucks, enjoy a coffee and the sunshine and just chat. Plus she got to have some quality face time with baby, who is, I must say, comedy gold at this age (9 months). I've missed having girl time, with mommy friends or otherwise, and even something as simple as walking to the local Starbucks felt glamorous on a Saturday morning. Since baby and I had been up since 7am, I had time to shower, put on something casual and easy but cute, and put on some easy make-up that made me feel super hot without being over done.

My current trick for doing quick makeup and looking put together without dousing my face in product, is to use foundation as a concealer only. I use Nuetrogena Clean Make-up, and dab a bit of it under my eyes, on any little blemishes that might have shown up, and usually a bit above the bridge of my nose between my eyebrows, where my skin tends to get a little red. Then I put on a cream blush, circled a bit on the apples of my cheeks and blend up to my temples. I lined my bottom lids with a thin line of black, and put on black mascara, and finished off with some clear lip gloss -- not too shiney or gooey -- and that was it. I felt fabulous, understated, totally put together and hot and it took me about 5 minutes while Violet was playing with measuring cups at my feet. The only annoying part was that, since I had slept in my contacts (shameshame) I had to wear my frames instead, so I couldn't top my look with my giant sunglasses. Bummer.

Violet and I walked to the coffee shop since it's only a block or two from the house. Gal pal and wedding-planning bestie L was already there. We sat out in the sun, since for some glorious reason it's still amazing outside in January. 

One of our favorite topics is getting in shape for our weddings (hers is in June, mine is in December). She's already lost a bunch of weight, (she did that HGC diet? I don't know about all that. I've had enough of pregnancy hormones, thanks) and is now looking to tone up, mostly from doing P90X. 

My weight loss efforts last year were a bit disappointing, I just couldn't seem to get the motivation up to get started and really keep on with anything, and I ended up feeling defeated. About a week ago, however, Shawn mentioned that, for New Years, we should go "total health nut." After defining with him that he meant things like no soda and junk food and working out, rather than like, meatless and wheat grass, I was all about it. He's always been better at eating healthy, and doing it together, a lifestyle as a couple, was a really exciting thought for me. 

So, come January 1, we stopped drinking soda, buying candy and junk food, and I've been working out every day. I've brought a gym bag to work, and go running on my lunch breaks, or walking on days that are for strength training. I've gone back to using MyFitnessPal, a super website for tracking food and exercise, and the support there is awesome. 

My goal is to reach 145lbs by this summer. I have smaller goals as well:

175lbs by April 2, the baby's first birthday

165lbs by May 2

155lbs by June 2

145lbs by July 7

The idea is to be back down to my fighting weight by this summer, so I can rock my bikini and try on wedding dresses, and also have enough of a buffer between Ultimate Goal Weight and Wedding that I have room for any slips that might crop up, etc. 

I'm very excited for this. Doing it as a couple makes it fun, and I've missed running. My first mini goal is to break the 180's by the end of January, and leave the 190's behind for good. 

Stay tuned...

A Moment of Un-Hotness, or What Facebook Taught Me

Girls, I don't feel very hot right now. It happens. We all have our moments. Our un-hot moments. I'm confident that the hotness will come back sometime soon, probably around about the time I'm halfway through tomorrow morning's tall nonfat pumpkin spice latte (yum!), but right now, not so much. And you should know that I've just completed a 30 minute cardio toning workout dvd.

That workout was hard. Way harder than I expected it to be. This is a dvd that I've done dozens of times before, and for some reason tonight I was just dragging myself through it, and getting frustrated because my balance sucked and my muscles were shaking. Yes, there are no doubt several contributing factors -- lack of sleep, lack of water, etc. But they still all added up to me feeling completely off my game and, since this revolved around exercise, like a giant, lard-ass, I can't hack it through a dvd that used to be easy, un-hot mama.

Poo.

I took a shower and decided I would turn in early tonight so that I would have more energy tomorrow. And while in the shower, something a good friend of mine said came back to me. To paraphrase -- keep pursuing your dreams, even when you don't want to.

Actually, she posted it on Facebook. And it came to my rescue. Because it's one of the smartest things I've heard lately. Sometimes, even things we want really badly -- losing baby weight, publishing novels, getting out of debt, becoming wildly famous for whatever particular talent you're secretly harboring -- can start to seem like chores, like one more thing that needs a chunk of time carved out of our crazy busy days. So even though it sounds counter intuitive, sometimes you really do have to force yourself to keep on pursuing that one thing that you want, deep down, in the oubliette of your soul (Labyrinth reference? Yes.) To get up off the couch and get to dance class, or go for a run, or keep plugging away at that novel. Whatever it is. Don't let your goals get pushed aside.

So even when I feel like a hippo who will never fit into my size 10 super hot dark wash skinny jeans again, I will go to bed early to get up and do it all over again tomorrow, because Facebook told me too.

Me and said smarty-pants Facebooking friend at Disneyland, being our fabulous selves.

My Love for Italian Cheese

If you're anything like me, you have a giant sweet tooth that needs to be checked. If I'm ever to get down to my goal weight, I must must must learn to avoid every chocolate covered seductress that leers at me from the grocery and convenience store shelves. The candy aisle at Safeway is my red light district, no joke. Thankfully, I have discovered a pure and sweet path to the straight and narrow. That's right, the key to my soul's sugar salvation summed up in two words -- ricotta cheese.

Ricotta cheese is like, the greatest thing to happen to my own personal dessert menu ever. It's like the tofu of the dessert tray -- it can become anything. Unlike tofu, it tastes fabulous. (Sorry tofu lovers. I am not one of you.)

The glorious thing about ricotta is that, in the part-skim variety, it has a fraction of the cals and so on that any other dessert base (hello, dense chocolate cake, I'm looking at you) can claim, and a bunch of fab calcium and protein and yadda yadda. And because of it's lite and fluffy texture, I'm for surely eating way less of it than I would some other super rich dessert (eyeballing chocolate cake as it tries to sneak out the door...)

But the best part is that it can taste like apple pie AND tiramisu and that's just the beginning.

Despite it's name, it does not, in fact, taste like the cheese your brain is no doubt conjuring up. It tastes very much like nothing until you add delicious somethings on top of it. I've included a couple of recipies here for my most favorite ricotta concoctions, but if you want to experiment, these are my tips:

• it's smooth and creamy, so always add something crunchy or hard for a lovely contrast
• always serve ricotta concoctions in pretty dishes meant for fancy desserts, or something like (I like to use one of Shawn's scotch tumblers. They look fancy.)
• the fresh fruit you bought at the farmer's market is begging you to arrange it on top of some ricotta. BEGGING. With honey on top. Literally. 
• use cinnamon and honey for your sweeteners. But just drizzles and sprinkles, you really won't need much.
• these desserts are fantastic to make in layers. It fancies them up even more!

RECIPES ~ there are no measurements for the ingredients because I'm not Rachel stinkin' Ray. I made these up while standing in my kitchen, and everything is sort of just to taste. I trust all you ladies to adjust your portion sizes according to how much you want to eat and through trial and error, like I did. These are just some ideas for how to use ricotta to your advantage. Also, I'm not a dietitian or anything official like that, so none of this is gospel.

Enjoy!

Ricotta Concoction #1 ~ Fake Out Apple Pie

• part-skim ricotta
• pears, sliced (I used a can of pears in lite juice that I had in the pantry)
• cinnamon spice (I used my Pampered Chef Cinnamon Spice blend, I heart that stuff)
• honey
• granola

Lay down a fluffy white bed of ricotta in your eating vessel of choice. Drizzle with honey. Artfully arrange sliced pears. Sprinkle pears with cinnamon and top with granola. You're welcome.

Ricotta Concoction #2 ~ Tiramisu Triffle

• part-skim ricotta
• cinnamon spice
• honey
• sliced almonds

Again, take a scoop of ricotta and make a nice foundation for your dessert in your pretty dish. Drizzle honey, sprinkle cinnamon, and add enough sliced almond to cover. Repeat. I did two layers, so that I ended up with a layer of almonds on top. 

Ricotta Concoction #3 ~ No Fire S'more Delight

• part-skim ricotta
• honey flavor graham cracker
• Hersey's chocolate syrup (yay, fat free!)

Full disclosure, I haven't tried this yet, but my mouth is already watering. Plan ~ crumble half of the graham cracker into the bottom of my fancy dish, and layer with a scoop of ricotta and a drizzle of chocolate and repeat until chocolate is the top layer. 

My To Do List

Hello, gorgeous!

Yes, you.

If you’re anything like me this week, you can use the encouragement.

You’re gorgeous, your house is like a spread in Martha Stewart Living, your baby is a textbook model of perfection, you’ve lost all your baby weight and your hair is clean.

Now, please pass the giant steaming mug of coffee so I can stay awake to finish writing this.

I’ve never had a meltdown before, but I wonder if I’m getting close. I have so much on my plate and so little time, never mind energy, to get it all done, that it’s a daily battle not to just throw in the towel, sit with my baby on the couch and pretend that nothing else exists.

I am feeling less than hot this week. Unless a hot mess counts, in which case I’m ahead of the game.

I’ve been late to work every day this week. Now that school is back in session, the traffic has suddenly picked up again – I’ve been leaving home progressively earlier every morning, and every morning there is a worse traffic jam than the day before to compensate and suck up all my extra time, so that I’m just as late as the day before. And annual reviews are coming up, so, that’s awesome.

Once I’m at work, I’m sucking down coffee and trying to focus on the 500 or so tasks on my desk. At some point soon into that battle, I’m distracted by thinking about the phone calls I need to make/emails I need to send out/ads and info I need to post for my Scarlet Girl Pleasure Party business, to keep parties coming in and commission checks in the bank. Yay for paying off bills. Speaking of bills, I’m also distracted by the number of subscriptions to call and cancel, the snafu with the baby’s insurance that I need to get sorted out, the car insurance issues that need dealing with asap, and so on.

Somehow, I make it to the end of the day. If I’ve had time to pack a gym bag, I head out of the office for a run, which is blissful and all too infrequent.

Arriving home at a little before 7, I am handed baby, who is ready for nursing and mommy cuddles, maybe a bath, and then bedtime routine, and finally, asleep by 8:30pm. During all this, I hopefully find time to eat my own dinner, make some of those phone calls/send some of those Scarlet Girl emails that I’d thought about earlier in the day, and maybe get a few moments to relax watching Survivor or The Simpsons or something.

Once the baby is asleep, it’s a decision of what to devote the next 2 hours to, until she (lately) decides to wake up again promptly at 10:30, or I have to hit the sack myself – keeping up this blog and corresponding Twitter account (@one_hotmomm); reading the novel I want to finish; finishing the novel I’m writing; doing a workout DVD if I haven’t gone running that day; keeping the house from sinking into disaster; doing laundry; planning my friend’s baby shower; planning my own wedding; or some superhuman combination of two or more of those things. Not to mention at some point taking a shower, repairing my chipped pedicure, shaving my legs, or doing my nails. Pipe dreams, I know.

Just writing it all makes me want to take a nap.

Well, being awake makes me want to take a nap, but let’s not split hairs.

How to keep up with it all?

More to the point, how to avoid the depression that looms when all of this seems completely un-doable and too much for any normal person to reasonably attempt?

For one, I am harnessing the power of To Do Lists.

To Do Lists are best used for the umbrella tasks that all the little, chaos-causing jobs fall under. For example, all the memberships and subscriptions I need to cancel, the insurance payments I need to sort out, the bills I need to pay, fall under the Get The Family’s Financial Life Back On Track umbrella. It’s that kind of shifting, roiling, black cloud of a Thing That Needs Doing that can easily be the downfall of a Hot Mama’s sanity. It’s so big, and so important, and yet where does one even start? When looked at as one big black thing hovering there on the horizon, it’s likely to swallow you up and just rain all over your fancy parade.

Enter the To Do List.

We make these kinds of lists at work, to make sure our deadlines are met and the projects we get paid for stay on track. And that’s for someone else’s business. So why not use them for our own? My financial To Do List consists of every single item, no matter how small, that I had dancing around in my brain that needed to be done. For example:

·        Call gym and cancel membership

·        Call medical insurance and figure out why they don’t have baby on coverage

Cancel Netflix membership online 
Return outstanding Netflix DVD

·        Deposit Scarlet Girl commission check

·        Mail check for parking ticket

·        Mail check for Power bill

·        Drop off check to eye doctor

And so on. Writing out the list not only eased my brain by allowing me to have it all in black and white rather than having to rely on my overtaxed memory, but it also allowed me to itemize the chaos. Now, instead of feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, I can look at my list and, each day or each week, pick an item that my sanity and stress level that day is able to handle; deal with that item; and then cross it off the list.

And we all know how satisfying that is.

Suddenly, despite the fact that I still have a lot of things to deal with and accomplish, I feel in control of the situation, which is absolutely key in maintaining that slippery grip on sanity. Feeling as if we’re not in charge of the situation is what leads us to that desire to put on sweatpants and give up on hygiene for days at a time. Once we’re back in control, anything seems possible.

So, having seen just how lovely the To Do List was for my financial life, I decided to write-up similar lists for other areas. Some of these lists reset themselves weekly or even daily. To Do lists for losing weight, for example, start fresh every day, and include things like, Use the bathroom downstairs at work, every time (to sneak in extra stair climbing); Drink at least 3 giant water bottles by the end of the day; Eat a healthy lunch.

Perhaps, once some things quiet down a bit, I won’t need as many lists to keep it all straight. But then again, I’m just controlling enough that I’ll probably wield this tool like my own personal Excalibur for a long, long time.

Fitness Goals

Sunday night. After a pretty successful weekend as far as diet and exercise are concerned (and otherwise, really. A good weekend all around) I find myself once again motivated for the week to come. I've been making too many excuses for not exercising, and it's time to get into gear. Because we're going to the baseball game tomorrow night, I know I have to do my working out in the morning. I have workout clothes laid out for myself, and a dvd prepped and ready in the player. All I have to do is get dressed and hit play.

I've been using DailyMile.com to track my fitness progress, and since it's meant to tracking your running mileage, it's making me want to get back into running again in earnest. Since I know that, once I get home for the night after work, it's impossible to leave again, I have to work around that -- bringing gym clothes to work so that I can go running straight from the office, packing healthy lunches, and so on.

I made a goal to be back down to shape by this Christmas. Supposedly, it's 9 months up, 9 months down. Well, Baby Violet just turned 5 months, and I'm not sure I'm on track to have lost all the weight in the next 4 months. So it's time to go crazy!